Putting an end to uncertainty

This journey started about four years ago, when V decided he was ready to do his MBA. He applied to different schools and each time he got shortlisted for interviews, my hopes would be raised.. In 2007, I thought we would go to Chicago - and my hopes were "dinged", then I thought we'd move to Philly - and again I was "dinged". '08/'09 V did couple more apps (and I thought we might move to North Carolina or Paris) that got dinged again! While this cycle of applications and dings were going on... a sense of uncertainty began creeping in. And that feeling is so not a nice one to live with. We were running out of time on our visas and we had to go somewhere... plus we had a baby on the way. The lack of clarity in our lives was bothering me a lot. Our sentences would begin with "If", "When"... or "Depends..."

When we found out that V's application to ISB has been accepted, I felt relieved... for I felt that living in ISB would be a good way to transition our way back to India..

Last year on 2nd April we "moved back" to India and coincidentally this year V's graduation falls on the 2nd of April. We are once again moving out from what has been our home for the past one year to a new place, a new home! I am completely looking forward to starting from scratch... setting up a place, tastefully decorating it... from buying curtains to car... I am so totally looking forward each and every bit of it.

This last one year, though frustrating many a time, has been wonderful and rewarding. I have never had so much peace of mind.

Rants

Being aggressive is really not my cup of tea.. I can't bargain to save my life... I give in too easily... I hate to have confrontational conversations with anyone, be it the waiter and the restaurant or my close friends... I think its okay to adjust... All these personal traits of mine are coming to bite me in my butt now... because to live well in India and not to be taken for a ride, one has to be aggressive... every where!

The other day I was in the department store waiting to pay for my things, I was standing behind the yellow line, which says "wait here" and two early twenty somethings come right in front of me... they dont even bother to check with me who is standing there, with a bag full of things...! What I have noticed is that if there's even a tiny inch of place between one customer and the next, the others think that its okay to squeeze in between. So I had to remind them to get in line and they had the audacity to give me a dirty look and say "why were you standing so far away?" and i gave them a mouthful.. saying that I didnt want to breathe down the other persons neck while he was paying his bill. The entire experience of shopping was ruined because of this.

Then there are restaurants, where you pay a fortune for the food, and you get clumsy service. One evening we opted for outdoor seating at one of these new pricey resataurants here... we got our beers and a fly dived in to our pitcher, which still had a decent amount of beer. So we called the waiter... and asked him to take it back and give us a refill... and that guy had to push back... and say i will have to ask the manager... i mean, really? so my friend had to give him an earful! There goes our nice evening down the drain.

Everyone is in a hurry... the other day at the airport... our cab driver just pulled the vehicle curbside and and we were getting down when the guy behind us started honking without a break... there I was getting down with a baby sleeping on my shoulder and a diaper bag and that fellow has no empathy! I was so damn pissed that I showed him the finger... and it so happened that the guy was a fellow passenger on our flight. I dont understand what he was honking for? We are all getting down and going inside, did he want my cab driver to move one centimeter forward so that he could be that much closer to the entrance? Give me a break!


There are many many more such instances... I agree India has changed, just being modern, wearing jeans and talking english is not enough. We seriously need a mentality shift.

Sloppy Jane

Sloppy Jane is nickname that I coined for myself. I don't consider myself sloppily dressed or anything.. but I am not the one to be wearing make up through out the day. No I don't even bother with lip gloss or lip stick too, unless an occasion calls for it. I mean, if I were going for a party, yes I will do my best to look good; meaning make up, lip stick, painstakingly blow dried hair, etc. On the other hand if I were headed grocery shopping, I will not hesitate to walk out in my tracks (of course I will not be seen 20 ft away from my house in my pajamas or night clothes) and flip flops with my hair tied up. I dont think that is sloppy! And my face is a totally different story... I like to joke that my face is like a flower.. its all fresh and blossoming when I get out of the house... In two hours time, its like a microwaved flower... No amount of make up can cure that!

Then there are times that I just want to lounge in misfit clothes.. and just let the guard down...

What really bewilders me is that there are girls who manage to look amazing through out the day. Whether they are seen at a rocking party or sweating it out in the gym (oh and these girls dont sweat!)... they look absolutely stunning. Their nails are always painted, they have beautiful feet, their face always look fresh, they never have a bad hair day... and they are always dressed in best of clothes... like to the gym.. they wear the kind of t-shirt that I would wear for grocery shopping. I dont think these chicks would sleep in the t-shirt that I wear to bed! I'd like to know how they pull that off? Can someone tell me?

A very very good friend of mine is one such person. She would get out of a long haul flight looking fresh as a daisy. She would return from work just like how she went in. In spite of a long subway ride to and fro and the 10 hours spent at work! That would just kill me! When I go to work, I look like one person and when I get out I swear my colleagues wouldn't even recognize me... All I do is drive in to work and sit there... I have tried washing my face reapplying make up (which is sooo not me) post lunch in an effort to look good... but no, that doesnt do anything!

So this year, I have decided that I am going to make a sincere effort to try and be the "pretty one" instead of sloppy jane. I am wearing good clothes ALL the time, which means a lot more shopping... which means this exercise is not going to last for more than two months... then there's the pedicure and manicure for pretty feet and hands and painted nails... facials on time, threadings on time... looks like V has to land up in a job that pays really well!

Some say this and some say that

After hearing politically correct and diplomatic statements for a while now, its very difficult to accept certain 'honest' blatant remarks that I have to hear here.

While browsing, just browsing, not even trying to take the piece to the trial room.. a guy in the clothes department looks at the kurta I am checking out and says.. "that won't fit you maa'm". Uh?! What?! OK.. what did you just say? I know that I can find size L in the bottom of the pile... urgh! what nerve you son of a ... ! I wanted to say all that but I woman-ed up and said very sweetly "oh ofcourse I know, I am checking this out for my sister!"

How many ever times I have gone through it, something that always makes me uncomfortable is... shopping for undergarments, especially bras... the guy (i always land up with a dude to help me out), I would just have to say " Bra.." and he would know exactly what size to show!!!! I mean really? and they would even correct you "I think you should go for this... " ARGH! Anyway, I was happy that we have department stores these days and we can just pick it up ourselves... so I walked in to LifeStyle and nonchalantly made my way to the appropriate section.. and there he was... "maa'm can i help you?"

I accept that I have gained a lot of weight post pregnancy / delivery, but come on, you see a seven month old baby in my arms and you have the nerve to ask me... "are you expecting?" how do you keep your cool in such situations... i wanted to say... um no.. are you?

On campus what irritates me the most is when V, Nikhil and I go out for a walk... when V introduces Nikhil and me... people look at V with utter disbelief and say things like "Is that your child?... DUDE... no way, man! you are married? i would never have imagined... you look so young..." Yeah, he will look young, he didnt have to lug around another human being inside him for nine months, get it out, care for the child... ofcourse he will look friggin' young! When something like this happens, I swear I will run an extra mile the next day and stop eating all junk and then get rid of all the extra pounds before I leave ISB... so that I can match up to looking as young as my husband... but then I get home and Nikhil throws one of his tantrums and I go right for the cheese balls!!!

I mean am I over reacting? Should I just let it go? Am I taking it all too personally...

I think this morning's incident with my maid was by far the best...she walks in and sees me immediately says "amma, you have not put earrings? you are looking like a man".. I am just speechless!

T.V. Tidbits

I was never a follower of any new series on the television while I was in America. I always watched ( I hate to admit it) re-runs of Everybody loves raymond, friends, law and order... later I got hooked on to NCIS and House. The point being I never really followed any new series. I used to hate reality shows, like the Bachelor, two years ago if someone asked me to watch I would've puked! However, things have changed, because beggars can't be choosers... of the entire line up of channels available here I am hooked on to Star World... I started watching it initially because they played Friends... I am a sucker for Friends.

I swear I tried to like other Indian Channels.. but somehow nothing was really appealing. There's too much Bollywood involved. After loving Master Chef Australia (again played a season late on Star World) I thought I should give Master Chef India a try. But it was nauseating to see Akshay Kumar being one of the judges! Like cooking and Karate are the same! They lost me when they brought Aishwarya Rai to judge!!!!!!!! I am sure she likes to eat good food, but can she be a reasonable critic of what masala would make a kashmiri pulao taste better? REALLY?

I was thrilled when I saw that Koffee with Karan was coming on Star World... until I started watching the show. Some times Mr.Johar really gets on my nerves. He has the same question for every one Ranbir or Imran the brighter future? Deepika or Sonam the brighter future? These are his rapid fire questions!!!!! By far the worst episode on Koffee... was the one with Priyanka Chopra and Shahid Kapoor... I personally like Priyanka but with Shahid... they both were like immature high school kids!!!! Kareena also was quite annoying with her "Saifu... Saifu..". I did enjoy the one with Deepika and Sonam, also the one with Bachan Sr and his daughter. Very dignified lady! Lastly, the one with Shah Rukh, really made me feel that gets quite lonely on the top!

Oh talking about Shah Rukh, does he ever refuse to endorse a product? I mean Emami Fair and Handsome for men ?! Really, he has to endorse that? Unbelievable, from endorsing high end watches to fairness cream for men, he does it all!

Anyway getting back to the shift in shows that I watch... I never once saw Top Chef, but I got hooked on to Master Chef Australia, I never watched the Bachelor, well I really didnt get hooked on to it, but I didnt get repulsed by it either. These days I watch old seasons of Two and half men, Royal Pains, How I met your mother... *sigh*

Mac is back!

Why am I suddenly in to posting? Because I have my computer with me. All these days I was living like a parasite, borrowing V's laptop.. while he goes to the loo, while he gets up to eat, while he showers, while he sleeps or the best when he leaves it behind when he goes for a class. I tell you, life with out a comp SUCKS big time! Urgh! Anyway, my mac traveled all the way from Baltimore through the Atlantic and arrived Mumbai in July. Ever since it has been sitting in my parents house unopened and unused... until 16th January, when my parents finally flew it down to Hyderabad back to me!!! My joy has no bounds... I feel like I got my life back. Here's a toast to my Mac.

Facebook, emails, blogs, I am back again!!!! Did I speak too soon? - No, no, I think this is going to be a good blog year.

A year gone by

Since I havent been "quite" regular at blogging the whole of 2010, there have not been as many posts as I would've liked to post. Anyway, to compensate for that, I am going to sum it all up in one post..

If we were to give a title or caption for every year, mine would've been "Good Bye USA, Hello India" for the year 2010.

Vicky and I knew that the move was coming up... but I dont think I was quite mentally prepared for the big change. The whole thing didnt settle in for the first couple of months. It felt like I was on a vacation. For one, Nikhil and I were staying with my parents, then we headed off to visit relatives, spent another month with V's parents. So you see what I mean, I was living off of suitcases for a really long time.

It was July when we joined V at Hyderabad. The campus is awesome! It's almost like living in a hotel. They provide room keeping services, which means clean white sheets, changed every two days, sparkling bath, counter tops and mopped floors every day! To add to this we got a maid who does laundry and makes rotis. Every one has a maid, so it looks weird if we dont have one... :-)

So from having no help at all to having too much help. It is a big transition! And I tell you, keeping maids is no easy job. It's a huge project management exercise! Sometimes its more stressful to drive your maid than to a actually do the chores yourself.

There's a grocery store and a pharmacy on campus. Both does home delivery. Life is really cool. I could sit on the couch watching TV all day! Sadly because Nikhil needs attention, I cannot afford to do that. May be I should get a maid to watch him full time. ;-)

I do get my maid to watch Nikhil for about three to four hours a day, so that I can get to move my big fat butt to the gym... I admit its really good to get out and be on my own for a little bit.

As to how I feel about being back in India... my emotions are mixed. Sometimes I just love being here, I have never felt so much at ease in such a long time. I dont have an annoying tension about visa or job or anything thats bugging me, especially given that we are in a no income one kid situation right now. But then there are days that I get too frustrated with the system, people's attitude, and lot of other things. I do miss the US and our life, I miss the predictability of everything, most importantly I miss the independence I had over there... but on the other hand I do love that I have help, that my parents or in laws are a few hours flight away, Nikhil is getting to see so many people, enjoy the company of his grandparents. I love the kababs, the chaat, the biryani, the tikka masala... although I miss Chipotle, a nice juicy beef burger, but thats besides the point... In all, I think I can live with missing certain things about US.. because i feel that there's more to love here. Even though I find myself being aggressive on quite a few occasion, otherwise people take you for a ride... I feel like I am home.