Just a thought

I am tired of reading about moms. Social media has been flooding with various points of views - Why stay at home moms are super moms, why working moms are super moms, a letter from a stay at home mom to the working mom saying she is super duper, a letter from the working mom who gives the stay at home mom a standing ovation. There was even a letter from a stay at home dad. Then one which was about the mom in the park with an iPhone. And the latest that has been shared over and over again is a question something along the lines of a man trying to convince his wife to be a stay at home mom and a great response to that question. There! This is the reason I am tired. I am tired of all this debate. Trying to read why one is better than the other, why both have its own challenges, why people shouldn't judge either and its the families decision, etc. 

Being a mom is tough. Whether you are working, whether you are staying at home, it doesn't matter. Motherhood is a challenging role. Working or not working doesn't make you a better mom. You decide what kind of mom you are.

Growing up my mom was a stay at home mom. Looking back, I realize that I loved that she was a stay at home mom. I loved the fact that she was there when I got back from school. I loved how I used to sit on the kitchen counter top discussing my school day while she prepared my evening snack. On the other hand, my neighbor was a working mom and they had a system for their household. We both grew up to be fine individuals. Here's the thing - I loved my mom being stay at home mom, because she loved being a stay at home mom. She felt what she was doing was right, it was her decision. It felt right to her and she did that. 

Anyway, I am not going to discuss whats better or what works. I want to understand why are we focusing so much on motherhood? Why all the pressure on moms?  Its like living in constant fear of being judged. From food you feed them to toys they play with everyone has an opinion and a judgement to go along with that. Whether our mothers worked or not, whether they gave us enough attention or suffocated us with too much attention, whether they sometimes lost their cool or may be even gave us a tight one here and there....I dont think they had to deal with so much pressure... they had their share of day to day pressures but not the added pressure of the society - Are you spending enough time with your child, are you giving them too much attention. Those days there was a positive spin on everything. Mom giving too much attention, people would say "she loves her kids" Mom having a little distant approach meant automatically "her kids will become so independent". These days its like the society is waiting to point fingers and say what you are doing wrong. 

We are all mothers first, whether we choose to stay at home or whether we choose to work. From one mom to another, we all rock! We are super women! When you've had a rough day and want to just chill, go ahead and switch on the TV and let your kid watch that goddamn cartoon. Chill out! At the end of the day if you are happy with yourself, you will be a better mom to your child.