Years going by

Every time I write a post, I seem to be explaining why I have let months or years pass by without writing... Its such a shame! This blog is just like a million things I start in my life and never seem to finish or have the discipline to stick to. There have been times that I have almost deleted this blog... but then I read an old post and get all nostalgic and end up keeping it.

From the last time I posted to now -

1. We moved to Bangalore in 2017.

2. Kids adjusted to the new city in no time. And why would they not? Many uncles and aunts, cousins, frequent visits of grandparents, functions, hangout with friends, idly, dosa, sambar, vada, meals... whats not like about Bangalore.

3. I gained most of the weight I had lost and maintained, and why would I not? Uncles, aunts, cousins, frequent visits of parents, functions, friends, idly, dosa, sambar, vada, meals.... see?

4. Went on an amazing to trip to Amstredam and Paris and south of France. Saw our dear friends and their two lovely boys.

5. Ran the Chennai half marathon (personal best)

6. Ran the Kaveri Trail 21 K (personal worst) (note to self: write a post on this)

7. I became a Certified Yoga Teacher. (note to self: write a post on this)

8. Joined a fitness company as a yoga instructor.

9. Got an award for being "Trainer of the month"

9. Quit the fitness company (shortest stint ever)

10. Freelancing as a yoga teacher now.

11. Vicky took a break from work. 

12. An impromptu road trip to Gokarna and Goa. (note to self: write a post on this)

13. Moved houses - Yes! From a very happening neighborhood to a neighborhood thats synonymous to traffic nightmare. Like seriously, this part of Bangalore is by far the worst I have seen.

That brings us to July 2019.

Its wonderful how easy it is to sum it all up. I wish life as we live through it also had a summary option like this. Life abridged. One can only hope.

GrrrrGaon!

I was like one of those big huge stubborn dogs on leash who would plop their bums on the ground and refuse to move. Have you seen them? Their owners would literally pull them on their asses? That was what I wanted to do when we were moving back to Gurgaon! I hated the thought of having to live here. Anyway, here I was, back to where I never wanted to be. but this time around either because of my very low expectations or because of the place we chose to live, Gurgaon managed to surprise me. I love our apartment and the community and the neighborhood. Nikhil settled well in his school. I love his school too. Kids made new friends, I made new friends. Life wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

We went on a wonderful vacation with our dear friends to Istanbul and Santorini in June. 

Rest of the year was spent attending weddings, stepping out with my girl friends time to time, keeping kids busy, dealing with infections and such. 

In December I ran my first ever half marathon! Yaaayyy! I can cross a big item from my list of things to do. 

Overall 2015 was a good year for us. Settling down and getting back to the grind. 

Karthik started Play Group this year. He goes to the same school as Nikhil. They seem to be well adjusted and happy there and that makes me even happier. 

So far, so good. I can say that life is still sabai sabai in Gurgaon too. 

How long has it been?

My poor old neglected blog! If blogosphere turned minimalists my unused, dusty blog would've been long gone.

I have no excuses for not having written anything for so long. Sheer laziness!

August 2014, is where I left. Let me try to rewind...

Phuket Diaries (contd..) -

We were living a blissful life in Phuket. Looking back, the one year that we spent in Phuket was an unforgettable one. Those days will be etched in my memory forever.  Karthik had just turned 1. My cousins stayed about ten days with us in July. We visited Krabi and we explored Phuket. Ate a lot of street food, restaurant food and home cooked food. It was one of those trips that involved heavy eating.
August through November I got to experience the monsoons. My mood swings with the weather - if its gloomy outside I am miserable inside. Imagine how monsoons can affect my mood. However, the monsoon season in Phuket was very different. There would be patches of sunshine after a heavy bout of rain. There were not too many days that went without the typical clear blue sky.
In October, we did a quick trip to Bangkok, Nikhil's passport renewal was the major agenda. I absolutely loved Bangkok. We decided to skip Pattaya, well, because we were living in Phuket, (evil laugh).
I was also on a major weight loss regimen. I ringed in my 35th birthday in style (literally). I had lost all pregnancy weight and some more. I had never felt more accomplished in my life!

December through January we had visitors again. One batch was my cousin and his friend on a back packing trip through Thailand. We were so glad to have them camp on our couch for a week or so. Christmas through early 2015 V's parents were with us. We did all touristy things with them. Phi-Phi and James Bond island, visiting the night markets, hitting the naka weekend markets and the like. Now, with two kids and too much adventure comes infections. So I had a good share of cold and flu that I had to deal with. Mid January, saw Karthik hospitalized for couple of days. Poor Nikhil had his birthday celebrations in the hospital.

By end of February it was certain that we were to move back to Gurgaon. I was so not ready to give up my cozy lifestyle and move back to of all places - Gurgaon! (shudders). We were busy in February settling on school for Nikhil and finding a place to rent.

We moved back to Gurgaon in March 2015! And just like that Phuket became a wonderful memory.

Life with...

... In-laws has been going quite well *knock on wood*. I don’t want to say anything nice and jinx the way everything is going. I am pretty good at self-jinxing.

After having completed four weeks, I’d like to have said that I have learned to adjust, ignore and enjoy the company… but it’s staying at work really late that has helped me tremendously in the last one month.

Fortunately, the month of September is going by relatively quickly, as we planned few weekend trips. We kick started our series of trips with a visit to Florida. A day at Clearwater beach, couple of days at Walt Disney World and to conclude the trip, we took a river cruise at Fort Lauderdale, ogling at mansions of rich and famous.

Last weekend, the dutiful son took his parents to the Big Apple, followed by a pilgrimage to Niagara Falls. I stayed back and had some “No Thangamani, Enjoy!**” time with a friend of mine. It was so much fun to finally have the house to myself and have some down time.

This Thursday we are off on an 11-day trip to the west. Plans include gambling in Vegas, seeing the Grand Canyon and spending some time in California.

After that, my countdown will drastically reduce to 6 weeks…! Given that there’s just three days before we start, is it wrong to think, “It’s just another 6 weeks before I can have my life back?”

***************************

“No Thangamani, Enjoy!**” - For the non-tamil speaking folks, this is a famous colloquy from a Tamil movie called Agni Nakshatram… The scene portrays a man rejoicing after his wife leaves him. At first he is quite dejected, but then he realizes that it can be such a bliss living without his wife. After I dropped the three of them at the airport last Thursday, I swear I said, “en maamiyar maamanar ooru vittu poyittango…yeehhahahahaha No thangamani, yennnjaaaiiii!”… (my mil and fil have left the town)

hmmm... Now does that look better?

Yep. I just completed an extreme make over for my blog. New look, New title.... Let's see if this change will make me write more often.

Lot of people complain that they don't like change. I feel I am completely pro change. I love the excitement. The feeling of starting some thing fresh. Looking forward to something new. In fact I get restless if there's a period of no change in my life.

I always look forward to moving to a new place, new house, new country, whatever. I know, it's crazy, who would want to go through the hassle of moving. I like everything except packing and unpacking part of it. I guess that's one of the reasons I never really got excited about buying a house.

I always get bored with my work. I haven't stayed in a job for more than 2.5 years. I've been in my current job for about 2 years and 7 months...

I get bored with hair styles. I have had some crazy hairstyles when I was young. I don't do ridiculous stuff now but I always have to get my hair chopped at regular intervals. It amazes me when I watch some of the makeover shows on TV to see some girls shedding tears when they see scissors touch their locks.

I rearrange my closet time to time.

I rearrange stuff in my kitchen cabinets time to time.

That's enough about me and my love for change. My point being, I was hitting a point with my blog where everything bored me. So there I changed it and whaddyaknow I have two posts in one day. All I can say is change works well on me.

Surviving a long distance relationship

When I was introduced to V years ago, little did I imagine that we’d end up getting married! We met during our under-grad days. We chatted briefly and exchanged pleasantries when we ran in to each other on campus. V used to call me once in a while, and then there was a phase in our last year at college when I found myself suddenly playing the role of an agony aunt. That was when we probably started talking, that too hours together on the phone! It was during these endless sessions of playing a therapist that I came to realize V was such down to earth, genuine guy. Everything changed one day when V gave me the biggest hint that I might be 'more than a friend' to him.

With finals on the anvil, preparing for placements, and deadlines for multiple final year projects, and a million other things that were going on, thinking about a guy would’ve been the last thing I’d have done. But, I found myself spending some sleepless nights; listening to love songs… this was a totally new experience and something that was completely abnormal for me! Pressure was mounting from V as well… he was waiting to hear what I had to say about his ‘proposal’. So I did what I do always, make a pros and cons list. I was not ready to commit to anything serious – as in I didn’t think I was so madly in love, but he was in my thoughts and I liked his company, I liked him… a lot. I did want to spend more time together to get to know him better! But, I was moving to a different city, V had admits from schools in the US and he was serious on getting his masters abroad. How were we going to get to know each other better if we really didn’t spend time together? Anyway, I gave up being uptight for once and decided to go with the flow. There was nothing on my cons list that seemed pressing enough for me to ignore what I was feeling. We had about 20 days before my impending move, however, of the 20 days, I was to go on a trip to Kerala for about 2 weeks and V had a trip planned with his family for about 15 days. After all these trips and family engagements, our precious 20 days came down to FOUR quality days of actually seeing each other.

With those four days etched in my mind, I found myself at Hyderabad and V was some 8000 miles away at Texas. Thus began our long distance relationship, which lasted for four years (ironic, isn’t it?). A year and a half later, I got to see V for precisely 3 days. After that we saw each other during preparations and shopping for our wedding.

So there, I think I have established my credibility to be a long distance expert. I thought I’d share a few pointers on how I survived those 4 years of missing someone so badly. This is purely based only on my (and only my) experience.

1. Trust yourself and your partner. If your BF says they are going for a party with friends, then he is going for a party with friends– no more no less. What would you really gain from knowing how many of his friends are “girls”? Remember curiosity killed the cat? Too much inquisitiveness can kill your relationship. Especially if you are living away and all you can do is imagine all his friends as hot chicks hanging out with your vulnerable boyfriend.

2. Learn not to misuse their trust. Even if you sense a slightest possibility that someone you know seems to be interested in you, let him know that you are seriously not available. Don’t play along and flirt and end up hurting others feelings. I strongly believe in karma.

3. Accept that you cannot be a part of his day-to-day life and he misses you and thinks about you as much as you think about him and miss him.

4. Respect other person’s feelings. Things don’t always sound the way you mean it over the phone or email. Your intentions can be misunderstood. If such a thing happens… be ready to explain and don’t get defensive.

5. Communicate, be open to each other, and learn to listen. Discuss your thoughts and feelings openly.

6. Never pretend you are comfortable with something he is doing if you really are not.

7. No one (including you and your BF) can remain sane by just sitting and thinking and pining for you. It’s unhealthy. They need to have a life. Too many restraints can screw your relationship (goes back to trust).

8. Have a good support system. I cannot even begin to explain how important it is to surround yourself with good friends who understand you and what you are going through. You need reassurance and support more than you think you need it. Have one objective person as a confidant, who you can go to for impartial verdicts.

9. Be reasonable. It’s not always your boyfriend’s fault.

10. Moping around all the time is injurious to you. Learn to look at the brighter side… You are in this relationship because you really like this person. There are lots of things you can do “together”. Like you both could read a book and talk about that book, you could watch a movie (and think you are holding hands with him) and share your thoughts, it shouldn’t always be about mushy “I love you so much” “I miss you so much”. Sending him handwritten letters via snail mail always works like a charm.

11. Don’t bottle up your anger. It’s okay to fight – in other words have a heated discussion about conflicting thoughts or behavior. You can virtually kiss and make up. If you are always angry then it’s a different story.

12. Virtual relationship is definitely painful. No matter how much of a positive spin you put on it, the frustrations of long distance is bound to catch up with you sooner or later. There will be times when you question your decision and feel that the whole thing was such a waste of time. You’d think that you have spent precious moments of your life missing someone and feeling miserable. A person you seem to remember just as 2D images from a photograph. Everything becomes so unreal at that point. You find that reassuring friends are not useful anymore. When you hit that phase, shamelessly compare your fellow with others. Think of other guys you’d rather be spending time and having a fulfilling relationship with, believe me you won’t come up with one appealing person. That’s when you realize that you’d rather hold that photograph close to you and that would put a smile on your face.

What I've been up to...

I can’t believe I have been such a slacker! Here are some highlights from the past two months:

- April started with a very good friend of mine from Hyderabad visiting. The two and half years that I spent in Hyderabad are so memorable because of friends like D and others who were my neighbors there. When in Hyderabad, we had spent hours together discussing politics, work out routine, healthy lifestyles, psychology and other various random topics. I bid adieu to Hyderabad in 2003 and hadn’t seen D since. Now, she is staying in Canada and training to be a pilot (she was always the cool one). So it was amazing to have her stay with us for a week and catch up with her. It was like I just saw her yesterday and we picked up our conversation where we had left it.

- We started watching Lost (better late than never) when D was with us and we are officially hooked. We are at the second DVD of Season 2 right now.

- Got to volunteer with an organization called One Brick. The event was bowling with kids and young adults with disabilities. I can’t tell you how inspiring each and every participant was. Their energy and their attitude towards life gave me a new perspective on things. Even today when I find myself complaining about some small thing in my life, I think back to that day and feel like I should be thanking the almighty for having blessed me with everything I have. Priyanka has written a wonderful piece on this event too.

- The month of April concluded with a couple of my very close friends visiting us. A & V had brought their parents along and we got to eat some yummilicious food that both mommies made. I’ve known A & V from college (under grad) days! It was so nice to have the fried rice and paneer curry that V’s mom used to make (that transported me right back to V’s house where we spent most of our lunch hours). And A’s mom’s awesomely awesome aloo parathas and dal and pretty much all what she cooked over that weekend was D.E.L.I.C.I.O.U.S. A fantastic weekend spent staying up late playing Uno, chatting and laughing hysterically, clubbed in with a bit of sight seeing around Washington, DC. We had such a blast with all of them!

- May was pretty much week after painful week at work. I had done nothing but work in May. However, Memorial Day brought some respite as V&I went on a trip all the way down to Hilton Head, South Carolina. A friend of ours had a time-share there and they were planning to use it for a week. They were kind enough to extend an invitation to us and we gladly took them up on that. Our friends were not reaching HH until late Saturday evening. We drove down on Friday, camped that night at Florence, SC and the next morning we drove down to Savannah, GA (which is quite close to HH). Spent the entire Saturday just walking around the Historic District and taking in festivities by the river front before heading to HH well past 9:30 that night. We spent the next couple of days golfing (the guys got to golf, while the girls got to drive around the course in the cute carts) and fishing (the guys got some sharks, while we girls hung out on the deck staying safely away from all the action).

- Past two weeks I’ve been have 3-day workweek. What a blessing! The first was after memorial day, I had taken Tuesday off, so that was a short one. This week, I had been to NYC for work on Monday & Tuesday… so there you go! I got to meet the above-mentioned friend of mine, V while I was there. I am going to have a tough time adjusting to the five days of work next week. :)

- We are off to Richmond this weekend, as the cricket season has started. Can’t wait to see our cricket buddies :)

Powerless Hour

An hour without power. "Earth Hour Saturday 28 March 2009, 8.30pm is that hour when cities and towns across the world will turn off their lights for one hour"

That's something I can certainly do... it will be like reliving one of the power outages that I was so used to while growing up. Mostly, the scheduled outages used to occur in prime summer months. A messenger from the electricity department will send a word around the community (colony as it was called) regarding the timing of the scheduled power outages. It used to last for about an hour. Sometimes they'd even try to squeeze in fifteen minutes before the scheduled begin and another fifteen after the scheduled end. My mom used to joke about the "reliability" of these power cuts, she used to say - call an electrician to fix a broken street light, they never show up... but, if the electricity department was punctual about something it had to be cutting power.

We used to dread the afternoon power cuts, that was the worst form of torture according to me! At nights, these outages were not so bad. The weather usually gets pleasant during late evenings, and with no TV, no lights, we guiltlessly took that time off and do nothing. We would light candles and sit out in the portico, get some fresh air, chat with our neighbors... it was the time for all of us to catch up! Except when I was studying for an exam or had homework to do, I used to sit with my books front of the candle and read / write in earnest.... until I looked up at the wall and saw my shadow... and then get distracted with the size and shape of my nose in the shadow, which reminded me of witch.


I think I will happily switch the lights off this Saturday and may be try to see if the shadow of my nose looks any different now.

My latest infatuation

I'm in 'love' with the Apple. Not the fruit, the computer. My history with Apple started when V gifted me an i-Pod 3 years ago, the cool kind (then) which could play videos and all. i-Pods have come a long way from then, but I still love mine. Last year, before our trip to India, a cousin of mine requested me to bring her an i-Phone, remember the craze? There was so much demand and no phones in the store. I never really understood what the whole fuss was about. It's a phone after all...the oh-my-god-you-want-to-spend-so-much-for-a-phone phone!

(At this point, if you are wondering why I didn't just order it online?
Answer: You don't know me very well. Yeah, there's never enough time. I was in the store 2 days before my trip)

Anyway, that's besides the point. So, it was for the i-Phone that I stepped in to the Apple Store for the first time and that's when I saw it... the i-Mac. My heart skipped a beat, ofcourse that's an exaggeration, but I still like to think of my reaction that way. It was the sleekest looking thing I've ever seen! That's when I realised that I had met my next computer. I usually don't have strong desires, especially not for electronic goods... but this one was different, I knew I had to have it. It wasn't really difficult to convince V about the i-Mac, however, it wasn't as easy as I expected it to be. I had to present a solid case for choosing a desktop over a laptop. Finally, V gave in... let's say he had no other choice! All I had to do next was wait, wait for our old laptop to die. It was a long hard wait... and I think its fair to say that I played somewhat of a crucial role in the death of our old computer.

Then it happened, two weeks ago, we brought my cool gadget home! Our first few 'dates' have gone pretty well. I've realised that I have to make some adjustments, like I miss having MS Office... I know I can't have it all. With some patience and a CD with Office Products for Mac, I think we'll get there. For now, we are getting to know each other and I have a feeling that we are headed in the right direction and that we are going to have a long lasting relationship.

¡Hola! ¿Cómo está ustedes?

YES! I am proud to announce that V & I are “estudiantes de español”. We’ve been trying to learn Spanish for a while now, mainly because it makes 'comunicacion' a lot easier with a lot of people around this area. Almost all the people who cook and serve food in both our office cafeterias are from Latin America. Agreed most of them speak and understand decent enough English, but there are some folks who… let’s say struggle with the language. Sometimes the whole conversation would just be vigorous head nods and lots of Yes and No.

Things started to change after our trip to Spain; we picked up some basic sentences from our handbook. Even with his broken Spanish V manages to get preferential treatment at his canteen (translation: more food). See, there’s a benefit right there. As for me, I wanted to learn Spanish for the love of learning a new language * cough *.

So we tried borrowing books from the library, checked some online resources, and even considered buying the famous Rosetta Stone – Nothing worked! Then one day we got a booklet from our county about their Adult Education Program. They had a pretty impressive (and some times eyebrow raising) line up of classes: Various ethnic cuisines * cool *, lessons in finance * ugh *, parenting * ignore *, pet training * ignore *, applying make up * laugh out loud *, international languages * YESSSSSSS *

Need I say more?

Our classes are on Wednesdays. It started mid-Jan and goes on till April. Honestly, after four weeks, our over all progress has been pretty slow, but it’s definitely better than not knowing anything. We are certainly enjoying the classes, our teacher is an elderly gentleman and he is really a lot of fun! These days we look forward to Wednesday evenings! And for me personally it comes with added benefits such as bunking gym and not having to think of what’s for dinner * smiles happily *

New Year, New Blog... Old Me

Taking another shot at blogging this year. Let's see how it goes this time. Looks like I just got myself a resolution for the new year - to maintain my blog regularly. Who knows by the end of the year, we'll have an old blog and a new me.

Cheers!