18 December 2009

Happy Holidays!

My favorite time of the year is here…. That time of the year when the holiday bug infects everyone. Despite the chill in the air, there’s cheer on everyone’s face. Brightly lit homes and some with curtains pulled back to let others catch a glimpse of that beautifully lit Christmas tree…. This is the best part of winter.

Enjoy the season.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and a Wonderful New Year.

03 December 2009

Ready or not

I am supposed to be “self evaluating” for the year-end performance process… Wonder if “Manage, monitor and maintain the development of a human being” qualifies as taking on additional responsibility!

Anyway, you were given sufficient warning in the previous post about how I was switching gears to write about pregnancy. If my pregnancy does not interest you, now is the time to close this blog and read something else… may I suggest highheelconfidential.com – go check it out, I won’t mind… promise :-) (psst.. I am hooked on to that website myself)

Ok… so where do I begin? Let’s see… What is the number one question folks have asked me after I shared the “news”? Was it planned? The thought that instantly comes to my mind is... Does it really matter? Now that I am in this situation it’s too late to back out even if it was unplanned.

Seriously, I don’t think I would ever have been 100% ready. I could not picture myself longing to start a family, be a mother and all that. Three years ago, one of our friends announced that they were expecting a baby… while I was genuinely happy and overjoyed for them… their news only reinforced my belief that I was not ready for that journey yet. Over the next few years, as I saw more friends and peers stepping in to parenthood…. I used to wonder, is a baby really necessary for me? Am I ready to shoulder the biggest responsibility in my life? Well, once you are married it’s not just “me”, “my decision” anymore. I posed the question to V… We had a lengthy discussion about that question, many others and something else that was nagging me…. Is it a selfish desire to want to have one’s own baby while there are so many abandoned children and babies out there?

At the end of that discussion, it was clear that V was more ready than me to start a family of our own. He was convinced and totally enthusiastic that I brought the topic up. “Don’t you want to see a part of yourself in a person, an opportunity to mould and shape a young mind, to be a positive influence in a person’s life…” he said all that with a lot of josh… It made me feel quite guilty, I had never thought about it that way… Am I the selfish one here who’d rather shirk responsibility and live a life according to me with no worries? So I took another stab at the question. Do I see myself not needing a family forever? May be I don’t see the need for a kid now, may be I don’t see the need when I am 40, but as I grow older, I am sure that I would miss the fact that I don’t have a family. As is the case with me always, I would long for something when it’s too late ;-) I realized that I was looking at the decision of starting a family from a short-term angle.

Was I ready then? No. Would I've been ready in two years, five years… may be ten? I don’t think I’d ever be fully ready. Having a baby, being responsible for shaping the life of a child, is a huge deal and I would always be apprehensive about the big change, no matter how old I was. If I knew something for certain it was that life couldn’t just be V & me always… Then, does it really matter if we decide to go ahead and take the plunge now or five years later? I decided to close my eyes, hold my breath and take the plunge…

There you go short question “Was this planned” and a very long answer. I don’t know about planned or not planned but I can definitely say that a lot of thought was put in to it :-)

To write or not to write...

... about my pregnancy that is the question.

I’ve been going back and forth on that for several months now….well, not more than seven months. I had mentioned in one of my earlier post that many blogs I read/lurk (yes yes I know it’s a shame, but I don’t mind lurkers on my blog at all... although I have to admit that its nice to get a comment or two from total strangers) are about new moms, veteran moms, to-be moms… so when I found out that I was pregnant I was thinking may be I should write about it…but then, a part of me wanted to just wait until the baby arrived and then share stories of baby and pregnancy. Now that due date is fast approaching, I notice that I am pre-occupied with just baby/delivery/pregnancy thoughts and that translates to nothing concrete to “capture” on the blog other than my baby/delivery/pregnancy thoughts. So, I decided not to wait and go ahead and jot down some random pregnancy related things while I am still pregnant… after all, it will lose its “sensational” effect after the baby, because I hear that babies take up all attention. :-)

Stay tuned for some pregnancy posts coming up…

PS: See how many times I used the word "Pregnant" in this post. I am telling ya, I've become very single dimensional.

07 November 2009

Picture time.... finally


Pictures, at long last!

Lake Tahoe - Foggy & Snowy

Salmon Spawning

Lake Tahoe

V all smiles at the 18th hole of Pebble Beach - someday he might get to play there for real ;-)

18th hole - How come all beautiful locations are taken up by golf courses? No fair, I say!

Checking out some produce at a Pumpkin Farm

Ocean on one side.....

... Farms on the other

A Hot fudge brownie sundae anyone? At the Ghiradelli shop in SFO

SFO - on our way to Sausalito

Noisy, Stinky seals enjoying the sun....

Now here's one from Vegas! (didn't want Vegas to feel left out)

Dad and Son at work... fixing a flat tyre. After seeing the Canyon, we came back to see the flat...

Hoover Dam (from another side)

El Tovar at the Grand Canyon

hmm.... do I have to say what this is?

Taking it all in...

Sunrise
Lake Mead


04 November 2009

Releasing... Rush 3.0

It’s the day I say Good Bye Twenties… and Hello, Thirties!

Another decade gone by… From being that girl in her twenties to that woman in her thirties… I don’t think I have changed and morphed in to a wiser woman overnight... and I will be dishonest if I say I haven’t changed at all... but I am in no mood for reflection! :-)

Today, I decided to write down twenty points that came to my mind when I thought of my twenties… So, here’s a quick twenty20 ;-)

1. Became financially independent
2. Bought two vehicles with my money ;-)
3. Continued my constant fight with fluctuating weight
4. Developed a love for baking
5. Lived away from parents and outside India for the time… for work
6. Learned a little bit of German
7. Learned a little bit of Spanish
8. Learned to be a decent cook
9. Attempted to learn swimming… ended up learning how to float
10. Met some wonderful people, who I call very close friends now
11. Met the person I wanted to spend rest of my life with
12. Got married; thankfully to the person I intended to spend the rest of my life with
13. Trained for and participated in two 10 K runs
14. Realized the importance of fitness and eating healthy.
15. Realized that I can't stick to the eating healthy part always
16. Shed my geeky glasses for contact lenses…even sported colored lenses for about a year
17. Started drinking alcoholic beverages… experienced some really terrible hangovers as well ;-)
18. Got to see some beautiful places, amazing beaches, vibrant cities and historic monuments…
19. Worked in four organizations
20. Volunteered… two times in ten years… I know, it's pretty bad!

In the next 10 years, I hope to…

1. Travel… top places on my list are: Hampi, Taj Mahal, Brihadeeswara temple, Ladakh, Rajasthan, North East India, Goa (I know, I know, never been to Goa! Shame on me!), South East Asia, New Zealand, Alaska, Italy, France…
2. Become a mother… a decent one at that
3. Continue focus on fitness
4. Learn a new language… I should be able to speak fluently
5. Learn how to swim… not just float
6. Own a dog
7. Do something adventurous… Skydive… may be ?!
8. Own a house
9. Learn cake decoration
10. Train and Run a half marathon

In ten years from now, if I make a list… I have something to validate it against ;-) But for now, its happy birthday to me…

Now go on… wish me well and say nice things.

27 October 2009

Totally Random

I was in one of world’s most boring training session and here are some things that I jotted down in my notepad. I thought I should transfer them over to the blog for posterity ;-)

~I wonder if this guy’s (the person who was presenting) family and relatives find his voice irritating too.

~I wonder what other people think of me…

~Do I have a work personality and a non-work personality? May be I do… I snap quite a lot at home… I am a lot more patient with folks at work… hmmm that’s what I think.

~My nails look horrible…

~I should never get acrylic nails in my life.

~My fingers are crooked… They don’t look symmetrical at all… Sh*t my fingers remind me of my grandma’s fingers…

~OMG I am so sleepy… I am so sleepy….

~Why did I sign up for this?

~2:30…. It’s just 2:30?

~May be I should drink some water….

~Or may be a loo break…

~This is probably my hundredth yawn…

~I hate that my eyes water when I yawn…

~Why is it that my eyes water when I yawn?

~Damn it looks like I am crying…

~I should buy an iPhone… everyone owns one. It looks so cool… and I can find out why my eyes water when I yawn..

~Wow, that’s her 4th cookie… How can some people never gain weight? Why can’t I be one such person? I don’t even like sweets that much! No fair!

~I should work out more often… what happened to my drive? I was so good with my work routine 2 years ago!

~Thank God they don’t make you take a test after this session

~This s*cks!

~2:40… WTF!

~Are we ever going to get a break?

~I should talk to V about going on a three-day trip after in-laws leave…. Miami? Key West? Puerto Rico?

~Let me chew gum… may be that will wake me up…

~I should start getting fruit-y flavored gums… Mint is not fun…

~WOW! Someone is asking a question?

~WOW! Someone is really listening…

~This reminds me of school and college…

~Fun times!

~At least we could bunk classes. I wonder how many afternoon classes I attended.

~How I wish I was in V’s** room….

~Aiyooooooooo… May be I should make grocery list…

I ended up making the grocery list… then thankfully we got a break… and the ordeal lasted another hour!


** - V is a very good friend of mine from college. We used to go to her house for lunch and invariably end up sleeping, watching a movie or just chilling out at her place post lunch. When our choice was to either sit through a class of System Software in a hot and sultry room… or to chill out in V’s room with air condition on full blast…. I guess we never had to think too hard.

12 October 2009

Good times

I have narrated some of my fond memories on this blog here and here . And in both these posts I have talked about a "big family house"... I have been skimming through my collection of photos to see if I had any pictures to share.. but sadly found none. So you can imagine how happy I was, when I saw an email from my cousin with exactly what I wanted. :)
View of the front gate from inside the compound

A glimpse of the main house


The Main structure


The side annex and the main building



The Annex
The small building on the side is the storage room. Housed all grains and what nots. This room was always locked and as kids we were never allowed to go unless in the company of an adult.
Walking down that dirt path straight ahead in between the trees was the pond.




This is where everyone gathered post lunch to chit chat... eventually ending up in afternoon naps for many adults and everything would become strangely quiet... until someone realizes it's time for the afternoon "chaya and tiffin" (tea and snacks). Did anyone count calories at all back then?



Kitchen Well - Where we got our fresh supply of drinking and cooking water. See how the pulley juts out of a window... that's actually a window in the kitchen. We cousins would have fights on deciding who would pull water from the well.

08 October 2009

Around the west in 11 days

11 days, 7 hotels and 6 places… I am back after a wonderful trip! Highlights of our travel were - Amazing landscapes, quaint little towns, the most scenic coast (that I have seen) and wonderfully weird artificial world in the middle of a desert.

Who ever called Las Vegas The Disney World for Adults was absolutely right. This city wakes up after the sun goes down. I always had this preconceived notion about Vegas that it was all about gambling, drinking and partying… and that people who didn’t find any of those activities interesting would be thoroughly bored to death… We didn’t get to do any of the above-mentioned activities (at least not to the extent that I would’ve liked to) during our trip but we still enjoyed every bit of it. I have learned that Las Vegas is not just about wild parties... it has something to offer for every one. Great restaurants, some of the world’s best chefs, amazing shows, beautiful buildings…you could spend days walking around without sipping on an alcoholic beverage or sitting down on a roulette table and still have a wonderful time. I think that V’s parents thoroughly enjoyed the experience. They were amazed at the vibrant nightlife, the casinos, the neon and the whole concept of extravagance that Vegas had to offer. Of course, I don’t expect them to want to go back to Vegas or put this on top of their favorite places in the US, but I am pretty certain they’d always be in awe of the energy this city had.

From the exhausting 90 F heat in Vegas we drove to upper 30 F and an almost freezing little town of Tusayan, just outside the Grand Canyon National Park’s South Rim. The next morning we bundled up and went to the Canyon to see the sunrise. It’s truly an amazing experience to see the colors of the Grand Canyon come alive with the rays of the sun. What can I say about the Canyon itself? I don’t know… words won’t do justice. It’s beautiful, but in a very different way! For me… it was humbling. It reminded me that no matter what we do, how much power we humans think we have; Nature is capable of something that’s completely beyond our comprehension!

There is a lodge called El Tovar right beside the Canyon. This old building has such a charm to it that if I ever visit the Canyon again, I’d make sure I would book my stay there. It has amazing views of the Canyon, a wonderful restaurant and most importantly it has a wonderful lodge-y feel to it!

Hip, Artsy, Modern, Charming and Gorgeous city of San Francisco was our next destination. We were blessed with beautiful weather, a little chilly but sunny and nice. V’s cousin who lives in the Bay area was our tour guide. Cable car ride to Fisherman’s wharf was the first item on the agenda. A stop at Boudin Bakery, a bowl of clam chowder (for sea food lovers in the family) in San Francisco Sourdough was next. Post lunch saw us on a ferry ride to a little town on the other side of the bridge; we cruised past the Alcatraz and Golden Gate Bridge in to the quaint and charming Sausalito (Thanks Priyanka for the recommendation). After spending a few hours walking in Sausalito we got back to SFO. We stopped at the Union Square; a local band was playing some foot tapping Cuban music. After their performance we called it a day! I’d definitely love to go back to SFO and spend more time there and check out the ethnic neighborhoods and do more of the non-tourist-y stuff… but for now I am glad I got the SFO experience.

Driving down route CA 1 has been the most wonderful experience for me! The beautiful blue Pacific Ocean stretching as far as the eye could see on one side, vegetables and fruit farms overlooking the ocean on the other side… this has to be the most scenic drive I have ever been on. We stopped at an organic Strawberry farm for a quick berry fix… later my fil being a farmer was thrilled to see all the pumpkin farms… so we made a pit stop at one of the pumpkin farms too. We spent the night at Monterey. We continued our journey to Carmel by the sea… stopping to see some beautiful golf courses and vista points… before we got on the real highway and drove to a relative’s place in Sacramento.

This is what Mark Twain had to say about our last destination - “At last the lake burst upon us--a noble sheet of blue water lifted six thousand three hundred feet above the level of the sea, and walled in by a rim of snow-clad mountain peaks that towered aloft three thousand feet higher still! As it lay there with the shadows of the mountains brilliantly photographed upon its still surface, I thought it must surely be the fairest picture the whole world affords." - He wrote these words about Lake Tahoe.
The lake is definitely the “jewel of the Sierras”. We got lucky and experienced an early snowfall, much to the thrill of my in-laws. This was the first time they saw snow… As for me I was thrilled because we got to see the breathtakingly tranquil lake gracefully nestled between snow-capped mountains. That was picture perfect! The downside of the snow was that it got very foggy near the lake and we didn’t get to enjoy the views from Emerald Bay… but I am not complaining at all!
Between Grand Canyon and Lake Tahoe, I was having a tough time deciding which would qualify as my favorite spot. In the end, I picked Lake Tahoe. As amazing, beautiful and mighty as it may be, for some reason, the Canyon had quite an unsettling effect on me. On the other hand, what wouldn’t I do to own a little log cabin facing the lake, perched on a hill surrounded by tall alpine forests… A cup of hot chocolate in one hand and a book in the other… my perfect vacation! Some day!

21 September 2009

Life with...

... In-laws has been going quite well *knock on wood*. I don’t want to say anything nice and jinx the way everything is going. I am pretty good at self-jinxing.

After having completed four weeks, I’d like to have said that I have learned to adjust, ignore and enjoy the company… but it’s staying at work really late that has helped me tremendously in the last one month.

Fortunately, the month of September is going by relatively quickly, as we planned few weekend trips. We kick started our series of trips with a visit to Florida. A day at Clearwater beach, couple of days at Walt Disney World and to conclude the trip, we took a river cruise at Fort Lauderdale, ogling at mansions of rich and famous.

Last weekend, the dutiful son took his parents to the Big Apple, followed by a pilgrimage to Niagara Falls. I stayed back and had some “No Thangamani, Enjoy!**” time with a friend of mine. It was so much fun to finally have the house to myself and have some down time.

This Thursday we are off on an 11-day trip to the west. Plans include gambling in Vegas, seeing the Grand Canyon and spending some time in California.

After that, my countdown will drastically reduce to 6 weeks…! Given that there’s just three days before we start, is it wrong to think, “It’s just another 6 weeks before I can have my life back?”

***************************

“No Thangamani, Enjoy!**” - For the non-tamil speaking folks, this is a famous colloquy from a Tamil movie called Agni Nakshatram… The scene portrays a man rejoicing after his wife leaves him. At first he is quite dejected, but then he realizes that it can be such a bliss living without his wife. After I dropped the three of them at the airport last Thursday, I swear I said, “en maamiyar maamanar ooru vittu poyittango…yeehhahahahaha No thangamani, yennnjaaaiiii!”… (my mil and fil have left the town)

09 September 2009

What's all the fuss about anyway?

The President of a country decides to address children of his nation on their first day of school and that becomes a big controversy. Why? I don't spot anything negative in his speech. Then why this huge protest? I simply cannot see the point of view of people who are angry with the President for apparently "interfering" with their kids lives!

If I were a student and I heard his speech, I'd have been inspired. I'd try to give school my best shot... instead of being shy, I'd have joined the drama club or participated in some competition to get over my stage fright.

If I were a parent, I would 100% want my children to watch his speech. I feel that my children would only be influenced positively by listening to the President (especially Mr. Obama). And after reading the text of his speech, it only strengthened that belief of mine.

It's a lot different when parents say things like "But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities." and the President says these words to you.

I feel that his words will encourage kids to learn well and may be watch less TV and may be read a book, stay away from video games. If not for the whole year, at least for a few months. Isn't that what parents and teachers who protested want ultimately - For their children to do well and not give up on studying and give their best effort?

08 September 2009

My favorite festival

Onam, one of my favorite festivals just went by and this time I am guilty of doing nothing special. Vishu and Onam are the two most important festivals for malayalees. Yep, not Vinayaka Chaturti, Navratri, not even Diwali... in Kerala, Vishu and Onam take precedence over any other festival. I am especially fond of Onam because the festivities last for 10 days. Having lived in Kerala until I was about 9 years old, I was lucky that I got to spend quite a few Onams with extended family. I get so nostalgic when I think of all the Onam holidays that I've spent with my cousins at our family home. Usually the quarterly holidays at school coincided with the 10 days of Onam. I'd be so distracted during my last exam because all I'd be doing is counting down to when we leave. This habit hasn't changed much even now, if I am going somewhere my mental clock starts ticking a week before - "this time next week"... until it comes to "tomorrow this time... I'll be there".

My Onam holidays would begin with my dad picking me up at school... last day of exam I always got to ride home on my dad's bike. At home, I'd laze around enjoying the feeling that I don't have homework to do... or open my books for the next ten days. Invariably some friend from the neighborhood will knock on our door or I'll be at someone's door... my mom would warn me not to play outside and soil my clothes because "remember you'll be traveling in these clothes" she'd say. After few hours, I'll hear my mom call out my name... once, twice and third time I'd say bye to my friend and run home (On a complete tangent - Now I completely understand why my mom always felt edgy and irritated everytime we were going to my dad's house - She was going to her In-laws!) An auto would be waiting at the gate to drop us and our luggage at the bus stop. All the way to the bus stop I'd keep praying that I get a window seat. Sometimes we experienced the luxury of hiring a car (usually an ivory colored ambassador car) all the way to the village... I used to feel on top of the world if that happened. Anyway, after the bus journey and another auto ride, we'd get off on a dirt road and walk (I'd run) rest of the way to the house. The house is located in between acres of paddy fields. Usually thin strip of mud roads serve as walkways between the fields - people would have to fall in single file to walk comfortably without having to lose balance and falling in to a field. It's a nightmare if you have to maneuver these roads on a bicycle! Most of my cousins and second cousins would be there already and right from the gate I can hear the chatter.

How the next week or so passed by, I'd have no idea. Our mornings would start with picking flowers and making a pookalam (a rangoli equivalent in flowers). After the pookalam work will come a session of hide and seek, followed by running and catching, lock and key.... until some one tells us to stop making noise or one of us fall down and need adult supervision to tend to a cut. Then we'd spend time playing and soaking ourselves in the pond.

Onam is a harvest festival... which meant that the paddy outside was ripe and ready for harvest. Through out the day we'd have workers on the fields bent down with their sickles chopping the ready to be harvested paddy. They work through the morning, break for lunch and then get back to work again. Post lunch, a group us would follow them to the fields... I'd love to go watch them work so effortlessly with their tools. I'd plead with them to let me try... until they give in! Late afternoon, they'd bring in all the chopped long stalks with grains and dump it on the long verandah wrapping the front of the house. There'd be a separate set of people separating grains from the stalks by squishing it between their feet, another process that looked so darn easy.. until you try and fail miserably. Once the grains are out, the stalks are then taken and piled up in the yard to make hay... which will then be used to feed the cows. Our favorite pass time was to climb up this "vaykol" (hay) mountain... and slide down bringing most of it down with us... much to the agony of my poor grandmother. Dusk will see my cousins and I fresh out of shower and a whole bunch of us from the house will walk to a temple which is about a mile and half away... on the way stopping to talk to neighbors, relatives and million other people.

Another fun exercise is molding of Thrikkakarappan (a foot long tapering cubes of mud - they are almost conical in shape). I think tradition calls for having seven, however our house always had three. It was the men of the house who would sit bare chested and start working on the soil, they have to get the mixture of soil and water right to actually make it work. As kids, it used to be so cool to be officially allowed to play with mud and water. Although the real work includes a lot of beating this muddy mixture in to that long tapering shape. On Onam day these thrikkakaprappans will be arranged on a banana leaf surrounded by tulasi leaves with a bright red hibiscus inserted on top of it.

Onam is 10th and last day. Since pookalam is the highlight of the occasion in addition to the flowers we pick, we'll have more flowers from the market. It'll take us about two hours to finish the design (which would have been discussed and finalized the previous night). The older cousins get to guide and give instructions the younger ones have to hang in there and do the labor work. All the women folk will be busy in the kitchen making the 11 essential dishes to accompany the rice and ofcourse the payasam (kheer). The aroma from the kitchen which is a combination of many dishes being cooked at one time will make your mouth water... You'd see some of the men-folk walking by the kitchen volunteering to be payasam tasters... especially my grand father who was a chronic diabetic. He'll sneak it to the kitchen or send me to get him a glass of payasam before lunch was served... that way my grandma wouldn't know. Finally, it will be time for the grand finale - The big OnaSadhya (Sadhya = a grand lunch served on banana leaves). Once that's done... the house suddenly becomes calm. With a severe case of food coma and sugar overdose everyone will gather around in the verandah chewing beetle leaves to help us with digestion... That's when my mental clock would tick again, now it would say " tomorrow this time, i'll be back home".

After we moved to Coimbatore, I never had the luxury of spending the whole 10 days at Kerala ever again. We still managed an occasional trip to Kerala to spend the day before and the day of Onam... or sometimes when Onam fell over a weekend. No matter what, my mom made sure that we did the pookalam and the sadhya every year, wherever we were. I got to bunk school/college/work guilt free on Onam days. Over the years, I got to invite my friends from school/college/work for lunch and my mom would be more than thrilled to host all of them... But nothing beats the charm of being in Kerala and getting to spend a grand onam with a whole bunch of family, running around paddy fields, trying to mold shapeless tortoises and dinosaurs in the name of making thrikkakarappan and sliding down the hay mounds.... aahhh if only one could turn back time!

26 August 2009

They are here!

I’ve been quite lucky and spent may be 15 days in all with in-laws in the past five years. Now they are here visiting us… for 3… Yes, THREE months. Honestly, I don’t have a really bad set of in-laws but honestly (again) I feel that in about three months time things might change. So I must warn everyone (the three or four of you) who read this blog that you are in for some wild ranting and venting.

Anyway, the days leading up to their visit I kept repeating the “have an open mind” mantra several times. But no matter what I did there was this annoying feeling in the back of my mind… giving me nightmares about how I’ll turn out to be the most unqualified partner for their precious son. This, after being married for five years! I do have some serious self-esteem issues, don’t I? Finally, I decided I am not going to sweat it, tough luck if they feel I am not worthy, because I’m their daughter-in-law and they are pretty much stuck with what they have. So instead of deciding to put up an act of being a perfect marumagal (daughter-in-law) I decided to be myself (em…may be a little better version of the real me).

It was the day they were arriving and I was not freaking out… okay, may be a little… but overall I was doing pretty well. I checked everything, bed was made, the pooja space was clean and nice, the house was pretty clean, had made some decent food, and the ‘maavu’ (batter for idly and dosa) was set as well, overall things were looking pretty good. They reached home and everything went quite smooth. When someone expressed his discontent on seeing store bought containers of yogurt I happily ignored that. I tried not to take it personally… so far so good.

Yesterday morning, I was completely devastated when I saw limp idlies as the end product of the batter I made! Every time, Every Single Time I’ve tried too hard to impress, I fall right on my face! Lesson learned. We shall henceforth use store bought dosa/idly batter as well.

Today when I walked down, I was surprised to see one fourth of the contents of my kitchen cabinets lying on the floor. Apparently my kitchen was going through some cleansing action. Agreed, my cabinets did have some old stuff that I didn’t throw away… I tried not to feel bad… it’s not a big deal, I said to myself… Look at the positive side, she is trying to help me out and that’s fantastic… It’s such a good thing and I should consider myself a lucky gal!

Then why is it that I am just not able to feel totally good about the kitchen-cleanse? Why am I kicking myself for concluding that I should be like my usual self? Why do I feel that I should’ve gone through everything, made a check list and then cleaned shelves like a maniac and that I should’ve found a container to store the channa dal and not have left it lying in the packet! Why can’t I stop thinking about how everyone in the family will now know about the sad state of my kitchen, the pathetic batter that I make… These are two things in just two days and I have 87 more days to go, so imagine how many more such situations I’ll get myself into… Why, why do I feel this need to impress? Why do I want to be so perfect? Most importantly, why do I stress so much only for in-laws?

All right, now I leave… I think my cloth closet needs some cleansing.

13 August 2009

hmmm... Now does that look better?

Yep. I just completed an extreme make over for my blog. New look, New title.... Let's see if this change will make me write more often.

Lot of people complain that they don't like change. I feel I am completely pro change. I love the excitement. The feeling of starting some thing fresh. Looking forward to something new. In fact I get restless if there's a period of no change in my life.

I always look forward to moving to a new place, new house, new country, whatever. I know, it's crazy, who would want to go through the hassle of moving. I like everything except packing and unpacking part of it. I guess that's one of the reasons I never really got excited about buying a house.

I always get bored with my work. I haven't stayed in a job for more than 2.5 years. I've been in my current job for about 2 years and 7 months...

I get bored with hair styles. I have had some crazy hairstyles when I was young. I don't do ridiculous stuff now but I always have to get my hair chopped at regular intervals. It amazes me when I watch some of the makeover shows on TV to see some girls shedding tears when they see scissors touch their locks.

I rearrange my closet time to time.

I rearrange stuff in my kitchen cabinets time to time.

That's enough about me and my love for change. My point being, I was hitting a point with my blog where everything bored me. So there I changed it and whaddyaknow I have two posts in one day. All I can say is change works well on me.

Surviving a long distance relationship

When I was introduced to V years ago, little did I imagine that we’d end up getting married! We met during our under-grad days. We chatted briefly and exchanged pleasantries when we ran in to each other on campus. V used to call me once in a while, and then there was a phase in our last year at college when I found myself suddenly playing the role of an agony aunt. That was when we probably started talking, that too hours together on the phone! It was during these endless sessions of playing a therapist that I came to realize V was such down to earth, genuine guy. Everything changed one day when V gave me the biggest hint that I might be 'more than a friend' to him.

With finals on the anvil, preparing for placements, and deadlines for multiple final year projects, and a million other things that were going on, thinking about a guy would’ve been the last thing I’d have done. But, I found myself spending some sleepless nights; listening to love songs… this was a totally new experience and something that was completely abnormal for me! Pressure was mounting from V as well… he was waiting to hear what I had to say about his ‘proposal’. So I did what I do always, make a pros and cons list. I was not ready to commit to anything serious – as in I didn’t think I was so madly in love, but he was in my thoughts and I liked his company, I liked him… a lot. I did want to spend more time together to get to know him better! But, I was moving to a different city, V had admits from schools in the US and he was serious on getting his masters abroad. How were we going to get to know each other better if we really didn’t spend time together? Anyway, I gave up being uptight for once and decided to go with the flow. There was nothing on my cons list that seemed pressing enough for me to ignore what I was feeling. We had about 20 days before my impending move, however, of the 20 days, I was to go on a trip to Kerala for about 2 weeks and V had a trip planned with his family for about 15 days. After all these trips and family engagements, our precious 20 days came down to FOUR quality days of actually seeing each other.

With those four days etched in my mind, I found myself at Hyderabad and V was some 8000 miles away at Texas. Thus began our long distance relationship, which lasted for four years (ironic, isn’t it?). A year and a half later, I got to see V for precisely 3 days. After that we saw each other during preparations and shopping for our wedding.

So there, I think I have established my credibility to be a long distance expert. I thought I’d share a few pointers on how I survived those 4 years of missing someone so badly. This is purely based only on my (and only my) experience.

1. Trust yourself and your partner. If your BF says they are going for a party with friends, then he is going for a party with friends– no more no less. What would you really gain from knowing how many of his friends are “girls”? Remember curiosity killed the cat? Too much inquisitiveness can kill your relationship. Especially if you are living away and all you can do is imagine all his friends as hot chicks hanging out with your vulnerable boyfriend.

2. Learn not to misuse their trust. Even if you sense a slightest possibility that someone you know seems to be interested in you, let him know that you are seriously not available. Don’t play along and flirt and end up hurting others feelings. I strongly believe in karma.

3. Accept that you cannot be a part of his day-to-day life and he misses you and thinks about you as much as you think about him and miss him.

4. Respect other person’s feelings. Things don’t always sound the way you mean it over the phone or email. Your intentions can be misunderstood. If such a thing happens… be ready to explain and don’t get defensive.

5. Communicate, be open to each other, and learn to listen. Discuss your thoughts and feelings openly.

6. Never pretend you are comfortable with something he is doing if you really are not.

7. No one (including you and your BF) can remain sane by just sitting and thinking and pining for you. It’s unhealthy. They need to have a life. Too many restraints can screw your relationship (goes back to trust).

8. Have a good support system. I cannot even begin to explain how important it is to surround yourself with good friends who understand you and what you are going through. You need reassurance and support more than you think you need it. Have one objective person as a confidant, who you can go to for impartial verdicts.

9. Be reasonable. It’s not always your boyfriend’s fault.

10. Moping around all the time is injurious to you. Learn to look at the brighter side… You are in this relationship because you really like this person. There are lots of things you can do “together”. Like you both could read a book and talk about that book, you could watch a movie (and think you are holding hands with him) and share your thoughts, it shouldn’t always be about mushy “I love you so much” “I miss you so much”. Sending him handwritten letters via snail mail always works like a charm.

11. Don’t bottle up your anger. It’s okay to fight – in other words have a heated discussion about conflicting thoughts or behavior. You can virtually kiss and make up. If you are always angry then it’s a different story.

12. Virtual relationship is definitely painful. No matter how much of a positive spin you put on it, the frustrations of long distance is bound to catch up with you sooner or later. There will be times when you question your decision and feel that the whole thing was such a waste of time. You’d think that you have spent precious moments of your life missing someone and feeling miserable. A person you seem to remember just as 2D images from a photograph. Everything becomes so unreal at that point. You find that reassuring friends are not useful anymore. When you hit that phase, shamelessly compare your fellow with others. Think of other guys you’d rather be spending time and having a fulfilling relationship with, believe me you won’t come up with one appealing person. That’s when you realize that you’d rather hold that photograph close to you and that would put a smile on your face.

17 July 2009

Of songs and memories

Last weekend I was listening to a song from Minnale called Ore Nyabagam and I felt this sudden urge to go hug V. Why, you ask? Well, this was “our song” during the four years of long distance (whole other story). The lyrics were as if someone had us in their mind… it was like this song was written just for us. So as I was listening to it, it took me back to those days when I used to spend many a weekend listening to this song and humming along wondering what it would’ve been like if I had my boyfriend right there with me and then I saw him sitting there on the couch reading the newspaper… and hence the urge to give him a hug!

That got me thinking… just by listening to a song, I was transported for a brief minute to our house in Hyderabad, my room, and even felt like I was missing V terribly… its true that some songs possess this magical quality of bringing back certain memories that I associate with them. Sometimes it’s the other way … when I think of some incident I always remember a song that was either playing in the background or that I was singing, etc. I wonder if there’s any one else out there who have similar connections with songs… Anyway I thought why not make a list with songs and the corresponding memories attached to it.

The earliest memory of mine is of a Malayalam lullaby called Omana thingal kidavo that my dad used to sing when I was about 3 years old. I still remember the tiny one bedroom house that we used to live in Trichur and me sitting on my dad’s lap, after dinner, my head resting on his chest and eyelids barely open.

My summer holidays were always divided equally a month at Chennai and a month at Kerala. Two completely different atmospheres –

Chennai was time for me to get pampered rotten as I was the only grandchild (then) and niece on my mom’s side of the family. My mom’s youngest sister was probably in her 12th standard at that time… and she listened to all “cool English songs” and then some Hindi. I remember one evening my aunt had rented a videotape of the movie Aradhna. I didn’t really understand too much of what was going on, however I was hooked on to the song “mere sapno ki rani”… I butchered the song royally and bugged the cr*p out of everyone… I sang it as “mere sappunon kee raanni kabbuu aayyee geetu” I always thought it was geetu - as in a name geetu and not ayegi and tu as separate words.

Kerala was the other end of the spectrum; it was my dad’s family house. A big house, lot of extended family, no shortage for kids, very little adult supervision, lot of pranks and mischief, plenty of land for us to run around and play, a massive pond where we used to spend most of the humid days lazing like water buffalos. One of the most interesting times used to be when some of dad’s cousins or nieces/nephews would get married. The actual wedding always happened at the temple in Guruvayoor, no matter what. But the fun stuff like the pre wedding party for all bride's relatives and the post wedding party for the groom’s side happened at the house. And for one such event, it was while we were getting ready, that a cousin of mine played the tape of Aashiqui… and songs like Nazar ke samne, Dheere dheere se always take me back to that very tiny room full of my cousins and second cousins with grand dresses, some trying to comb hair, some trying to apply lipstick, smells of all kinds of perfumes and all of us sharing just one mirror. I associate lot of Malayalam songs with those carefree times, but the list is just too long!

Roja was the talk of the town when it came out, Mani Ratnam movies were always my mom’s weakness… added to that Roja offered a refreshingly new type of music. So off we went, my mom and I for watching Roja one afternoon. When we got out of the theater after the show, it was pouring cats and dogs… and as I was waiting in that crammed bus stop, I was humming in my head... “chinna chinna aasai..” To this day when I hum that song I remember standing soaking to my skin in that bus stop.

Then came my glorious college days… three years of full of fun... there are just way too many songs for me to pick. The one incident that makes smile always is… a night after an event at the college, all of us camped at a friend’s house, we were all lying on the floor half of us asleep… my friend A & I we sang in total rhythm in hushed tones all the songs of Dil to Pagal Hai.

Dil Se was another movie that we had all waited eagerly for and we were so disappointed angry and totally pissed when we heard that they played only the tamil version (Uyire) in Tamil Nadu. We had planned a class “field trip” to the theatre to watch Dil Se. I pity the others who had to watch the movie that day through all the noise we made. The best part was that every single song of the movie, there was a group of us singing Hindi version out loud, really loud.

All songs however don’t bring back wonderful memories… a song that I really dread is “akhiya milaoon kabhi akhiyan churaoon”, this was the song I was asked to prepare and sing for trying out for the music group at college… I have never sung a song so bad and out of tune and my voice never sounded that horrible ever before. To this day, this remains one memory that I want to wipe off my head.

Aaye ho mere zindagi mein, was a song I used to love, until I sang it so many times that I completely detest it. But if I dig deep within, I remember fondly the first time I sang this song for a group of friends… We bunked our afternoon session of classes and a group of us piled up in two cars and drove to Kotagiri, a place famous for tea plantations… a friend of ours knew someone there taking care of an estate. It was one of the best bunking college memory I have. God knows how long we sat on a rock overlooking the beautiful lush green estate that stretched as far as the eye could see and that was when I sang the song…It was a wonderful feeling; being with friends, no one talking, all of us engrossed in our own thoughts…

Faza bhi hai from Nikkah always reminds of my room mate, Sanjivita.... Every evening when she got back from work, she would switch on her favorite collection of old songs... and that was the first time I heard the different but beautiful voice of Salma Agha... As much as I wanted to hear more of her voice, I was sort of disappointed that faza bhi hai was really the only one I liked.

There are many many more songs, like when I first listened to Carpenters or Cliff Richards, or how my aunt made me watch the video of Thriller, a class mate of mine rendering Hotel California with his amazingly awesome voice and his super skills with his guitar... so was the time he sang pyar ke pal by KK... anyway, I'll leave you with this last one - Kuch to hua hai, from Kal ho na ho… this song always brings back memories of my wedding… It takes me back to the last few months of hanging around at my parent’s home, reading books, watching TV, chatting with mom endlessly and day dreaming about my life ahead with V…

07 July 2009

Short Story

Nalini was proud to have the car all to herself; she could listen to music that she liked without her dad yelling at her “focus, FOCUS, Nalini!” She felt independent, strong and confident.

Being an only child, Nalini’s parents were over protective about her. They’d freak out if she didn’t show up home on time, so she had to call them every time there was a plan change or delay at work. Tonight, was different it was all worked out. Her parents won’t be worried about her, as they knew she’ll be coming late and that a friend, Preeti would be accompanying her on her way back from the party. Preeti lived two streets away and that put everyone at ease. Everything was going per plan and for once Nalini was not worried about the time or calling home. Only, Preeti decided to stay back a while longer and have her boyfriend drop her home instead.

It was her very good friend’s wedding party. She had so much fun catching up with some of her old classmates. It was past midnight now and she was driving down East Coast Road (ECR)… she turned up the volume on the radio and hummed along “endrendrum punnagai” She was in half a mind to roll her windows down and let the breeze from the near by sea in, but she decided against it. She was approaching a shady stretch of road ahead. Lorry drivers and roadside shacks and lot of drunkards. She kept her cool, what can happen when she is inside the car. Her palms were getting a little sweaty as she approached the red signal smack beside a “Wine Shop”. There were quite a few drunken men making noise on the road… she was relieved when the lights turned green and soon she was back in civilized neighborhoods.

A few kilometeres ahead, there was an intersection, she was completely confused which way to go... She had taken down directions in haste and Preeti had forgotten to mention this intersection. Luckily there was no one behind her, so she could get her bearings back and think about this. The area looked so deserted an empty, except few men smoking in front of a shop on the side. They stared at her shamelessly and Nalini quickly made up her mind… she couldn’t ask them for direction, they didn’t look trustworthy at all.. So she went with her instinct and turned left… not a good idea, there were potholes all over the place, there were no streetlights and at one point it just became a narrow mud road and then a dead end. Great, now she had to turn around… the road was so narrow that she had to turn and reverse multiple times… and at one point, the car went in to a pothole and she just couldn’t get it to move ahead. Her anxiety was not helping either. She noticed a few men ahead, starting to walk towards her car and she didn’t feel comfortable at all. They were in lungis and smoking beedis and they looked very unkempt. If only she could just get the car to move… she tried again, neutral, start, clutch, first gear, accelerate… and it was not enough, the car would jerk forward and stop. From the corner of her eye she saw that the guys were close by and they were talking and making some sort of signs to her. She closed her eyes took a deep breath… ignored them… until she saw that one guy had bent down and was staring at her through her window. She screamed and burst in to tears…. The guy kept knocking on the glass… she wiped her eyes and looked up… and then realized that they were signaling for her to calm down and roll the windows down. She didn’t know what to do, she went ahead and took the risk, and she rolled down the window... the guy asked her in Tamil… “Madam, where do you want to go? Looks like you are lost..tell me I can help you”. She blurted where she was headed and the guy calmly said that she was supposed to go right at the intersection and then pointing straight ahead he said “Madam, go straight past the signal and then third signal after that you will see Ganapati temple on your left, take a left there and that should put you on Mount Road. You know the way from there to your house?” She nodded and miraculously at that point she was able to get her car out of the big pothole and she drove past the men.

Later, when she was lying down on her bed, she kicked herself for not having thanked them.

05 June 2009

What I've been up to...

I can’t believe I have been such a slacker! Here are some highlights from the past two months:

- April started with a very good friend of mine from Hyderabad visiting. The two and half years that I spent in Hyderabad are so memorable because of friends like D and others who were my neighbors there. When in Hyderabad, we had spent hours together discussing politics, work out routine, healthy lifestyles, psychology and other various random topics. I bid adieu to Hyderabad in 2003 and hadn’t seen D since. Now, she is staying in Canada and training to be a pilot (she was always the cool one). So it was amazing to have her stay with us for a week and catch up with her. It was like I just saw her yesterday and we picked up our conversation where we had left it.

- We started watching Lost (better late than never) when D was with us and we are officially hooked. We are at the second DVD of Season 2 right now.

- Got to volunteer with an organization called One Brick. The event was bowling with kids and young adults with disabilities. I can’t tell you how inspiring each and every participant was. Their energy and their attitude towards life gave me a new perspective on things. Even today when I find myself complaining about some small thing in my life, I think back to that day and feel like I should be thanking the almighty for having blessed me with everything I have. Priyanka has written a wonderful piece on this event too.

- The month of April concluded with a couple of my very close friends visiting us. A & V had brought their parents along and we got to eat some yummilicious food that both mommies made. I’ve known A & V from college (under grad) days! It was so nice to have the fried rice and paneer curry that V’s mom used to make (that transported me right back to V’s house where we spent most of our lunch hours). And A’s mom’s awesomely awesome aloo parathas and dal and pretty much all what she cooked over that weekend was D.E.L.I.C.I.O.U.S. A fantastic weekend spent staying up late playing Uno, chatting and laughing hysterically, clubbed in with a bit of sight seeing around Washington, DC. We had such a blast with all of them!

- May was pretty much week after painful week at work. I had done nothing but work in May. However, Memorial Day brought some respite as V&I went on a trip all the way down to Hilton Head, South Carolina. A friend of ours had a time-share there and they were planning to use it for a week. They were kind enough to extend an invitation to us and we gladly took them up on that. Our friends were not reaching HH until late Saturday evening. We drove down on Friday, camped that night at Florence, SC and the next morning we drove down to Savannah, GA (which is quite close to HH). Spent the entire Saturday just walking around the Historic District and taking in festivities by the river front before heading to HH well past 9:30 that night. We spent the next couple of days golfing (the guys got to golf, while the girls got to drive around the course in the cute carts) and fishing (the guys got some sharks, while we girls hung out on the deck staying safely away from all the action).

- Past two weeks I’ve been have 3-day workweek. What a blessing! The first was after memorial day, I had taken Tuesday off, so that was a short one. This week, I had been to NYC for work on Monday & Tuesday… so there you go! I got to meet the above-mentioned friend of mine, V while I was there. I am going to have a tough time adjusting to the five days of work next week. :)

- We are off to Richmond this weekend, as the cricket season has started. Can’t wait to see our cricket buddies :)

04 May 2009

Trip to Spain - Granada & Barcelona

I'm done with my Spain posts!!!! *whew* I never thought this would end!!!!
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The next morning, we woke up and it hit us that V & I were on our own now. It’s always a sad feeling when your friends leave, even if you are middle of Spain on a vacation. Over coffee and croissant that morning V & I relived all the fun we had with Payal and Kapil… and then realized that we still have a few more days in Spain to look forward to and we don't have to be all mopey. However, we had a nasty money situation to take care of. Apparently there was a block placed on V’s Capital One Debit Card in Spain. Our sponsor K left us with some “pocket money” that was soon depleting. We really were desperate for getting money. Our call to Capital One gave us no hope. They said we’d have to wait another day before the block is lifted. I was getting worried then, but later as I started playing out worst case scenarios in my mind, it didn’t seem that bad. We’d become gypsies in Spain and travel the country… do odd jobs... may be we could even hop on a boat to Morocco if we get bored! Oh well, everything worked out fine and by 3 that evening we had cash!

Equipped with cash, we set out to explore Granada. We walked the streets in to local markets selling interesting artifacts. It came as no surprise to see most of these “interesting” artifacts were coming from India. I felt like I was walking through General Bazaar in Secunderabad. Some where close to dusk we went up to San Nicholas Square and watched the Alhambra lit up at night. It was really beautiful. We concluded the night by going for what was supposed to be a relaxing Arab bath… and Vicky had a massage included. The Arab bath was definitely an interesting experience… It’s a good “done that” activity and I don’t think I would want to do that again.

Here are some pictures from the land of gypsies...



Alhambra, Beer of Granada :-)


Plaza Nueva

Check out the wall hanging - Ganpati - in this guy's shop. It's not for sale, I believe the picture brought him good luck! And yes, he is Muslim.

Vicky inside a Teteria - Small tea shops

I lifted this off the net, as our camera didnt do justice. This comes close to how the Alhambra looked at night from San Nicholas Square



Early next morning we were on board our flight to Barcelona. Only after we reached the airport did we realize that we were actually in the Girona airport. It was a 100 km ride to Barcelona. We finally reached our hostel late that afternoon. We stayed at Plaza Catalunya, right at the starting point of Las Ramblas. It was LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!!!! ;)

With no specific plan of action, we walked around aimlessly, actually mostly on the Ramblas and streets flanking the Ramblas. Barcelona is a big city and we did what we do in big cities, we hopped on to a local bus. We met a very sweet and patient gentleman who was kind enough to give us a guided tour. We got off at the La Sagradia Familia bus stop. I wasn’t keen on taking a tour inside then, but in hindsight I regretted my decision of not having seen any of the Gaudi buildings from inside. On our way back we stopped at Passeig De Gracia, which housed some more of Gaudi’s buildings. Finally V’s search for good tapas ended at a restaurant called Tapa Tapa. After couple of good beers and food I was ready to hit the sack.
Columbus on Las Ramblas

Casa Batllo

Casa Mila

The man who volunteered to be our very patient guide! Mr. Rimbau

Incomplete work of Gaudi - La Sagrada Familia

Happy man with his tapas...
and the bloody Sardines.
Next morning, we enjoyed a fantastic cafĂ© con leche with chocolate filled croissants… Park Guell was our priority for that day. Once again it was really a hot day and we had a lot to walk quite a bit inside the park…. Later that evening, V wanted to check a neighborhood restaurant mentioned in Rick Steve’s book. Only when I entered I realized how many people read Rick Steves, there were hardly any locals and the place was extremely crowded and it was really a rip off. I know I can't make a judgement based on one data point, but for now I am a little wary of his suggestions.
What’s a visit to Barcelona without a visit to one of the topless beaches? So we set out early next morning to experience just that… When we reached there it was teeming with people! Even though we brought our bathing suits, I wasn’t very keen on changing and getting on the sand. Somehow the crowds and the lack of an inch of space on the sand turned me off. I was happy instead to stay fully clothed and get myself a good beer and some munchies and enjoy the fantastic breeze. As I sat there looking at the clear blue sea… it hit me that my vacation was soon coming to an end. We had a wonderful time, enjoying a bit of Madrid, the old town of Toledo, the Moorish influenced culture of Cordoba, the chilled out Seville, the grandeur of Alhambra and finally the vibrancy of Barcelona! It was time for me to say Adios Espana!
Now the last set of pictures from Park Guell! Sorry, none from the topless beaches ;-)


Enjoying the posture friendly ergonomic seating!
The only way I can get to touch a lizard.