Bitter Sweet

Bitter Sweet - describes what I am feeling right now.

6 years ago, I said good bye to my parents and began my journey to Richmond with lot of anticipation... to start a new life. I was excited and giddy with happiness but at the same time I was anxious and nervous about the future. I was leaving my comfort zone.

It makes me miserable to think that it won't be easy for me just wear my track pants and go out for a quick jog around the block, to think that there won't be any long weekend trips where we can get in to our car and hit the highway, to think that I won't be seeing beautiful colors of changing seasons, to think that I won't be able to go a grocery store and pick up variety of wine and cheese, to think that I won't be able to sip a beer during a "happy hour", to think that I won't be able to grab a quick bite by driving through a McDonalds, to think that I won't be able to see my favorite shows as soon as they are telecasted, to think that I won't be able to see and discuss all the super bowl ads (and yes the game itself), to think that I won't be ordering water "no ice" at restaurants (not that I mind the ice myself), to think that access to a juicy burger and unlimited re-fills of cola will be just a dream, to think that I won't be discussing weather with strangers in an elevator or for that matter I won't be smiling and exchanging pleasantries with strangers, to think that no one would ask me "were you in line?" at a counter, to think that I won't be driving in any specific "lane" on the road... and the list would just go on....

Six wonderful years and I take with me beautiful memories. I made wonderful new friends, grew closer to my old friends, had a lot of fun traveling, had a lot of fun living my life... and yes - even the H1 B/stamping crap brings a smile to my face.

As miserable as I am to leave such a beautiful life behind... I am looking forward to spending time with my little cousins (who are not that little any more), my grand mothers, uncles and aunts, eating street food, attending weddings, celebrating festivals, having dosa sambar in a kayyendi bhavan, going to a beach in the evening to just breathe some good air and not having to worry about how fat I look in swim wear, wearing cotton clothes through out the year and not having to feel depressed about days getting shorter, getting my eyebrows done and not paying a hefty price, having everything delivered at door step, to having a dhobi and neatly pressed clothes, to the mango season, drinking fresh coconut water, to drinking freshly squeezed juice at a juice stall around the corner, to watching some nail biting cricket matches, to jumping in to an auto and getting anywhere I want, to getting clothes stitched to my size... and yes - not having to use words like "out of status".

I am getting ready to leave just like did 6 years ago... Getting set for another journey... to start another new life with lot of anticipation. I feel the excitement, I feel the happiness... The same anxiety and nervousness about the future is at the back of my mind. Once again, I am leaving my comfort zone.